Hey!  My first FAQ! (which makes it more of an AQ than a FAQ, but I digress)

cluelessnewbie writes with the following question:

"Dear Frennzy.  Recently, my daughter stuck a bumper sticker on her bedroom door.  It states 'You're just jealous because you can't hear the voices, too!'  At first I thought it was cute, but now I would like to take it down.  Her door is wood, and I don't want to ruin it.  What do I do?"

Dear Clueless:

The real trick here is not so much to remove the bumper sticker from the door, but to remove the door from the bumper sticker.  This is a mistake made far too often from de-adhesing newbies.  

Furthermore, simply removing the door from the bumper sticker is not enough...one must convince the door that it not only *can* survive without the bumper sticker, but that in reality it *needs* to separate in order to lead a normal, healthy, doorstyle. 

So, how does one do it?  Well, I'll tell you.  First of all, you are going to need some nice, mellow mood music.  Something to set the scene.  I recommend (who else)...The Doors.

Second, the door will need to be placated and cajoled.  "Niiiice Door."  "Pretty Door."  "Well...wood you look at that!"  "What an impressive and important portal."  "What a stout and strong door."

Now that you have gained the door's trust, you need to prepare your instruments.  The first instrument I recommend is a doorbell.  Doors love these bells.  The second instrument I recommend is martini shaker, filled with suitable amounts of all-potato vodka and ice, as well as the minimum permissable amount of Vermouth (check your local and state regulations for Martini Mixing Guidelines). 

Next, and this is the important part, make sure you have had enough martinis to stabilize your hands as well as your nerves...this is no time to back out.   Be brave.  Be strong.

Martinis suitably stored on board, it's time to get down to business.  Whilst walking along the hallway near said door (important note:  make sure you are on the side with the bumper sticker, otherwise the door is going to get mad, and never give up the offending propaganda).  Anyway...whilst whistling to yourself (I suggest whistling the theme from 'Behind The Green Door' for it's distraction qualities), begin to sidle past the door.  As soon as you are sure that the door isn't paying much attention, reach out, grab that bumper sticker and yank it for all you're worth!  You'll find that 9 out of 10 times, this works flawlessly, just like removing a child from a Band-aid™.

Frennz